Dia de los Muertos

I really miss the Day of the Dead. I'm so into cultural holidays and festivals... imagine my joy when I moved to Texas and discovered that Nov 1-2 is a celebration of death! Well, it's really more of a celebration of the departed, where living relatives take offerings of food to dead relatives. Some people think of Day of the Dead as a Mexican version of Halloween, but really that couldn't be farther from the truth. Halloween celebrates all things goulish and un-dead, whereas Day of the Dead actually acknowledges death in a festive, if not downright happy, manner.

In US mainstream culture, death is not to be spoken of. My wonderful mentor, a chemistry professor at UNC, taught me about how to treat the dying with dignity. He said that having a terminal disease is a sentence to be a social outcast, since people in our culture have not been taught to deal with death or dying. He suggested that the best thing you can do for someone who is dying  (and for their caregiver(s)) is to send a card or note with an offer--"I've love to bring dinner for the family. Please call me and let me know when." Or, "I'd like to sit with Robert one Sunday afternoon." And let the caregiver call you when the timing is better. Sending your deepest appreciation and memories in a letter is a great way to let the dying know that you care.

I have a good friend who went to visit her best friend, who was dying way too young from cancer. She spent a week with her friend, curled up in bed, laughing and crying and reliving so many of the good times they had shared. At one point her friend looked up and said, "Thank you for coming. I'm having the Best Death Ever!"  I hope I can have that level of humor and gratitude when dying. And I sure hope that someone will bring tamales to me on the Day of the Dead, and will sing and dance and remember my life fondly.